9 things I wish everyone knew about grief…by Dr Lucy Hone

An internationally sought-after professional speaker, best-selling author, and award-winning academic researcher

Dr Lucy Hone is a Top 20 TED Talk of 2020; Global authority on resilience. Keynote Speaker, Best-selling Author, Award-winning 'pracademic', Media Commentator. Key topics include Coping with Loss; Resilient Grieving; Resilience.

1. There are no Five Stages of Grief - we all grieve differently and that’s okay.

2. Grief has no timeline. As much as I wish it weren’t true, grieving can take months, years or even a life-time.

3. That’s because your grief reflects how much you love and miss them. Just as it took years to get to know them, so it can take years to re-learn to live in a world without them here.

4. Grief changes you. Losing someone you love changes you fundamentally, very often forever. This can have good aspects too.

5. However... it is entirely possible to live and grieve at the same time! Not fun, not what you wanted, not pretty, but entirely possible. Don’t feel bad about living on without them. They wouldn’t want that for you.

6. You have to find what works for you in grief. Different people grieve in different ways, and that’s ok. Don’t compare yourself to others. No one can do this for you. Do what works for you.

7. As well as emotionally exhausting, grieving is physically draining too. Sleep as much/often as you can. It also often brings brain fog and forgetfulness - these lessen over time I promise.

8. It’s okay to take breaks from grief. Approach it in bite-sized chunks; it’s natural to oscillate between facing your grief and pulling back from it. Long term avoidance isn’t healthy though.

9. You will get through this! Resilience is not a fixed trait some people have, and others don’t. You are hard-wired to cope with loss. Have hope! You can and will survive this loss.