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Asking for help shouldn’t be the hardest thing we do in life, says Otago Federated Farmers' Luke Kane.
Katrina Thomas

Asking for help shouldn’t be the hardest thing we do in life, says Otago Federated Farmers' Luke Kane.

Asking for help shouldn’t be the hardest thing we do in life, says Otago Federated Farmers' Luke Kane. 

This has been something I’ve wanted to write for a while but never had the courage or idea how to start, so here goes.

On November 20, 2020, my father-in-law took his own life.

To watch my wife unknowingly receive that call was heartbreaking and overwhelming.

It had been like any other day at this time of year on farm - AI, winter crops, making baleage and getting ready for the local A&P show.

For whatever the reason may have been, we will forever be left with this giant hole.

He was such a amazing and understanding father-in-law but now our daughter will grow up having never met her grandad.

Certain holidays or big occasions are hard, but we are learning to remember the good moments and reminisce about the fishing trip or nights spent yarning.

Prior to this, we were the classic case of work, work and more work.

We were just a young farming couple trying to build and grow our business.

Since his death, I’d like to think we’ve changed or learnt something from this, but by no means are we perfect!

It’s a balancing act, a work in progress, to prioritise family and social time while still running a business.

For me it was little things like playing organised social sport or letting go of the reins a bit to give the staff more responsibility.

Another big one has been avoiding the rabbit hole that is social media - it’s great for catching up with a few mates and keeping somewhat updated with news, but not for interacting in any great debates with life’s so-called experts!

This seems rather cliched to say, but don’t focus on the things going wrong - learn from it, move on and don’t let it be a wasted opportunity to learn something new.

Life’s bloody dull otherwise!

If you have a feeling that something is not quiet right with yourself or a mate then don’t be afraid to use the likes of Rural Support Trust or chat to your local GP.

Asking for help shouldn’t be the hardest thing we do in life.

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